I'm so Goth people touch me and they BECOME Goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm Goth!"
I'm so Goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.
I'm so Goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.
I'm so Goth I died and didn't notice.
I'm so Goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.
I'm so Goth, I'm not only "Goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."
I'm so Goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"
I'm so Goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.

Goth #1: I'm so Goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.
Goth #2: I'm so Goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.
Goth #3: What's a smile?

I'm so Goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"
I'm so Goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."
I'm so Goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.
I'm so Goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewellery.
I'm so Goth I'm the only REAL Goth.
I'm so Goth I smoke cloves in the shower.

Goth #1: I'm so Goth a little rain cloud follows me wherever I go and rains on me.
Goth #2: I'm so Goth I AM the rain cloud.

I'm so Goth I'm more Goth than anyone else.

Goth #1: I'm so Goth I got a tattoo of Celtic knot work starting at the top of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.
Goth #2: I'm so Goth I AM a tattoo.
Goth #3: I'm so Goth I pierced all my tattoos.

I'm so Goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed.
I'm so Goth it takes me longer to get Undressed.
I'm so Goth I'm dead.
I'm so Goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.
I'm so Goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."
I'm so Goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."
I'm so Goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.
I'm so Goth I wore corsets in preschool.

Goth #1: I'm so Goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.
Goth #2: I'm so Goth I KNOW my dog's collar looks better on me.
Goth #3: I'm so Goth I stole my dog's collar.